Writing week 9

Respond to 8 peers with edits to their draft. Your responses should be 150-200 words with helpful suggestions for improvement.

• Be specific. Think like an editor. Help them rewrite a sentence, reorganize the ideas, or give them suggestions for additional evidence.
• Find a better way of saying something, considering the audience. Give a suggestion for a better word.
• Put yourself in the shoes of their audience. What do you care about? Does this letter persuade you? What would make it more persuasive? What holes can you poke in their argument? How can they patch up those holes in their final version?

Be kind and respectful. The majority of your response should be specific feedback that they can consider implementing, not simply encouragement/praise on what they already wrote.

student 1Dear

, I am a Registered Dental Hygienist and Certified Dental Assistant. I write to express my concerns about the lack of Dental Hygiene education within your school district and inform you of the importance of having a Dental Hygienist working within the schools.

According to the Center for Disease Control, dental caries or cavities are the leading chronic childhood disease in the United States. Most people don’t think “disease” when they hear of cavities and that explains why 37% of children aged 2-8 years and 58% of teens aged 12-18 have been diagnosed with dental caries (Simmer-Beck et al., 2017). Implementing a school-based program with a registered dental hygienist staffed through the district would help to reduce these nationwide statistics by using early intervention and educating your students before it is too late. The school dental hygienist would be responsible for creating lesson plans geared toward each grades comprehension level and educate them on proper brushing and the importance of eating a healthy diet.

The statistics I mentioned previously are even higher in Hispanic and African American underserved populations. These populations may not have access to dental care and are missing out on a very important aspect of childhood preventative dental care – sealants. Sealants are thin coatings that cover the groves of the back molars, this covering prevents bacteria from getting into the tooth thus preventing caries. 6.5 million low-income children do not have access to dental sealants, if they did it is estimated to prevent a total of 3.4 million cavities (Simmer-Beck er al., 2017). A school Dental Hygienist can screen for sealant eligibility and apply them during school hours in just a few minutes. This would be beneficial for all students and be a wonderful preventative measure for disease.

The school dental hygienist would perform routine dental screenings to detect cavities at an early stage. While they cannot fix the cavities, they can refer the student to a local dentist for treatment. Having this position would prevent students from missing school and prevent them from developing systemic problems in other parts of the body. Untreated cavities can lead to the child being in extreme pain, it can also have an impact on their growth and cognitive functions (Gargano et al., 2019).

Opening a school Dental Hygienist position would be extremely beneficial to the children of our district. Disease prevention and overall health for our children should be a priority in this post-covid time. A cavitated tooth is a broken bone, children who break bones at school are sent to the nurse and are treated immediately, so why should it be any different for teeth? I believe hiring this position to educate and coordinate dental screenings is a necessity for the future of our children.

Sincerely,

References

Children’s Oral Health | Basics | Children’s Oral Health | Division of Oral Health | CDC. (n.d.). Retrieved October 29, 2023, from https://www.cdc.gov/oralhealth/basics/childrens-oral-health/index.html#

Gargano, L., Mason, M. K., & Northridge, M. E. (2019). Advancing Oral Health Equity Through School-Based Oral Health Programs: An Ecological Model and Review. Frontiers in Public Health, 7, 359. https://doi.org/10.3389/fpubh.2019.00359

Simmer-Beck, M., Wellever, A., & Kelly, P. (2017). Using Registered Dental Hygienists to Promote a School-Based Approach to Dental Public Health. American Journal of Public Health, 107(Suppl 1), S56–S60. https://doi.org/10.2105/AJPH.2017.303662

Terryberry, K. (2017). Writing for the health professions (2nd ed.). XanEdu. “Writing the Argument”

student 2

. I am writing to inquire about the possibility of reviving the “Dental Mission of Mercy” project. Since 2014, this project has been providing dental services free of charge to the residents of Alaska, made possible through the generous contribution of dental professional volunteers. I have been an active participant in the program as an organizer and a provider and have witnessed the many benefits of the program.

Unfortunately, due to insufficient funding from the state, the project had to be discontinued in 2018. This is a great loss to the residents of our state, as the project had the potential to have a significant positive impact on their oral health. As mentioned in Jackson et al. (2018), the Mission of Mercy emergency dental clinic is dedicated to helping individuals who are vulnerable to oral and chronic diseases. Our goal as volunteers is to provide comprehensive primary and oral healthcare services to promote general and oral health and prevent diseases among our patients. Over the years, we have successfully reached our target population and improved the quality of oral health.

Access to dental care is crucial, yet many individuals in our state cannot afford it. Okunseri et al. (2020) highlighted the impact of socioeconomic status and hourly pay constraints on individuals’ ability to access dental care. Despite having to travel long distances, the number of participants seeking dental care has been increasing. In 2014, An article was written by Hanlan regarding the high demand for free dental services. According to the report, a large number of people camped outside the dental clinic early in the morning when the project was first launched in Anchorage, AK. Thanks to the generous efforts of participating dental labs, some individuals were able to receive dentures for the first time in their lives, which brought tears of joy to their eyes. This serves as a reminder that dental care is a crucial service that can genuinely transform people’s lives.

The clinic of the Dental Mission of Mercy offers a range of services, including preventative care for children and education on proper home care, which are needed by the community. This kind of preventative and patient-centered care is important/vital/for the community as stated/presented. Dental Mission of Mercy has always aimed for patient-centered care. With your help and the support of the state, improving the quality of the project can help to restore the noble cause of improving oral health in AK. Thank you very much for your time and consideration.

Sincerely,

References

Jackson, D. N., Passmore, S., Fryer, C. S., Chen, J., Kleinman, D. V., Horowitz, A. M., Butler, J., Garza, M. A., Quinn, S. C., & Thomas, S. B. (2018). Mission of mercy emergency dental clinics: An opportunity to promote general and oral health. BMC Public Health, 18(1), 878. https://doi.org/10.1186/s12889-018-5792-z

Okunseri, C., Eggert, E., Zheng, C., Eichmiller, F., Okunseri, E., & Szabo, A. (2020). Sociodemographic characteristics of mission of mercy attendees in wisconsin. JDR Clinical & Translational Research, 5(2), 127–132. https://doi.org/10.1177/2380084419859846

Hanlan, T. (2014, April 10); Revised (2016, September 28) Patients from across alaska line up for mission of mercy dental care. Anchorage Daily News. Retrieved October 24, 2023, from https://www.adn.com/our-alaska/article/patients-ac…

student 3 To the Office of Dr.Vasan:

Hello, my name isr. As a native New Yorker, it is jarring to see the immense toll that Covid-19 has taken upon our healthcare system. The New York City Hospital system has been historically understaffed and overwhelmed by the needs of our community. While the City is doing its best to address specific health issues, there is one that is frequently overlooked: maternal mortality.

Death during childbirth may appear unlikely, but data consistently shows how profound pregnancy-related deaths are (Chmielewska et al., 2021). The pandemic has exacerbated accessibility and induced further barriers to access (Chmielewska et al., 2021). Additionally, because of worries about contracting COVID-19 in medical facilities, fewer individuals have had prenatal visits. This has led to a rise in maternal anxiety (Chmielewska et al., 2021).

In order to address this imminent health concern, a comprehensive intervention is necessary. Even though the risk of COVID-19 transmission has decreased, the physician-patient relationship is greatly fractured. There is a great mistrust of medical personnel. (Chmielewska et al., 2021). Telemedicine may seem like a feasible option. However, this is not an ideal alternative since it reinforces existing structural inequality (Chmielewska et al., 2021). For example, virtual visits may require private settings or high-speed internet and the use of specialized platforms, adding another barrier to care (Chmielewska et al., 2021).

Instead, the NYC Health System should implement a digital maternal health education tool in its facilities (Chmielewska et al., 2021). Some benefits include the universal nature of the internet and mobile device usage (Chmielewska et al., 2021). Potential tools could be discussion boards, SMS messages, or mobile applications (Chmielewska et al., 2021). The platforms could be designed to work on low connectivity or be available in public facilities such as libraries or community health centers. These digital tools have had a satisfaction rate above 75% and found to be an effective way to communicate imperative information. Please contact me for further details. I look forward to hearing from you.

student 4 Remember to brush your teeth! How many parents have the nightly challenge of convincing their children to brush before bed? It is a daily chore for parents that all too often gets forgotten among the dozens of other tasks required to raise a child. This inevitable and inadvertent neglect eventually leads to early childhood caries (ECC). ECC, a global disease affecting more than half a billion children worldwide, typically goes untreated and leads a decrease in oral health related quality of life (OHRQoL) (Custódio et al., 2019).

My name is Sergio Gomez and as a Pawtucket native, registered dental hygienist (RDH), and parent, I pride myself on preventative dentistry and advocate for childhood oral health. Silver diamine fluoride (SDF) is an effective, safe, and topically applied medicine that re-mineralizes enamel and arrests decay. Funding for the use and application of SDF in Pawtucket Kindergartens, our most vulnerable child population, would not only prevent future decay, but arrest any that has already started (Zheng et al., 2023). This simple yet critical preventative measure will help to bolster our children’s oral health, their self-esteem, social interactions, and school performance (Custódio et al., 2019).

As a parent my first thought is, “is it safe?” SDF was developed in the 1960’s in Japan and has been used worldwide for several decades (Gao et al., 2021). The purpose and intention of creating SDF was to arrest dental caries in children. It was specifically developed with children in mind (Gao et al., 2021). Its proven efficacy led the American Academy of Pediatric Dentistry (AAPD) to support the use of SDF by publishing guidelines in 2017 (Gao et al., 2021). The following year the American Dental Association (ADA) set guidelines to use SDF as a first treatment option when considering ECC. Especially in the wake of the global Covid-19 pandemic, this non aerosol producing solution has led to a spike in its popularity (Zheng et al., 2023). This is evident by the drastic increase in SDF training in dental schools. Just recently, in 2020, the use of SDF has been implemented in every pediatric dental program in the United States. A stark contrast from the 25% implementation in pediatric dental programs in 2015 (Gao et al., 2021).

“But does it work?” SDF is a unique product because of the two components that make it effective. Silver diamine, the bacteria arresting property, and fluoride, the re-mineralizing property (Gao et al., 2021). This makes SDF unique in that it helps to prevent ECC and arrests any decay that has already infected our children’s teeth. Countless studies support the claim that SDF is not only effective at arresting up to 80% of ECC cases worldwide, but it provides that solution in any environment and at a low cost (Gao et al., 2021). A topically applied medicine that is cheap, effective, and can be implemented right in our classrooms, is a no-brainer solution.

“What’s the catch?” Because SDF’s main arresting property is silver, treated teeth can often develop dark staining. However, many parents are willing to overlook the dark appearance of the teeth over the costly and risky alternatives that modern dentistry offers (Zheng et al., 2023). Other than this minimal aesthetic concern, SDF has been proven to have absolutely no adverse effects on children’s oral health and well-being (Zheng et al., 2023). The high reward, low risk, properties of SDF has led to high satisfaction feedback from both children and parents (Zheng et al., 2023). Many parents cite the improvement in their children’s ability to eat, their social interactions at school, and the quality of their home life (Custódio et al., 2019).

As the cost of dental care has continued to rise, so has the cost of raising children. It has led many healthcare professionals to pursue alternative treatments to costly dental visits. This modern-day crisis prompted the World Health Organization (WHO) to finally recognize SDF as an effective, pain-free, and accessible medicine in 2021 (Zheng et al., 2023). Simply put, I would happily advocate for the use of SDF with my own patients, in my neighborhood, and with my daughter. We cannot afford to overlook the profound impact that funding of SDF would bring to our community.

student 5

I trust this letter finds you well. My name is , and I am writing to you as an advocate for cancer patients and survivors. In my role as President of the Rhode Island Dental Hygiene Association, a Certified Dental Assistant and Registered Dental Hygienist, I have come across a pressing issue that requires attention – the significance of maintaining oral health during cancer treatments. I encourage you to recognize the importance of this matter and take actions that will promote greater awareness and support for cancer patients in this regard.

Introduction

The journey of a cancer patient is taxing and fraught with challenges. One aspect that often goes underappreciated is the profound impact that cancer treatments can have on oral health. This letter serves as a plea to acknowledge the need for collaboration among practitioners to create awareness about maintaining oral health during cancer treatments.

Reason 1: Oral Complications from Cancer Treatments

One crucial reason to focus on this issue is the range of oral complications that cancer treatments can cause. Chemotherapy, radiation therapy, and immunotherapy can lead to various oral side effects, such as mucositis, xerostomia, and oral infections. These side effects not only cause immense discomfort but can also disrupt treatment schedules. A publication done by Sroussi et al. (2018) published in the Oral Medicine Pacific highlighted the prevalence of these complications and the need for collaborative care amongst practitioners for patients throughout their duration of therapy.

Reason 2: Impact on Quality of Life

Another critical reason to address this issue is the direct link between oral health and the overall quality of life for cancer patients. Poor oral health can lead to difficulties in eating, speaking, and even maintaining adequate nutrition during treatment. Research by Hiatt et al. (2020) published in the Official Journal of the Multinational Association of Supportive Care in Cancer addresses how the negative oral health impacts a patient’s overall well-being and quality of life.

Reason 3: Prevention of Treatment Delays

Maintenance of oral health during cancer treatment can help prevent treatment delays and complications. Patients with poor oral health, or oral infections are more likely to experience delays in their cancer treatment, as identified in a study by Hong et al. (2018) published in the Official Journal of the Multinational Association of Supportive Care in Cancer. By proactively addressing oral health, we can reduce the risk of interruptions in cancer therapy and enhance treatment outcomes.

Conclusion

In conclusion, I urge you to take a leading role in advocating for greater awareness of the importance of maintaining oral health during cancer treatments. Here are the actions that I propose:

Encourage healthcare providers to include oral health assessments as a routine part of cancer treatment planning, ensuring that patients receive appropriate dental care before, during, and after cancer treatments.

Promote educational initiatives and public health campaigns that raise awareness about the link between oral health and cancer treatment outcomes, encouraging patients to take an active role in their oral care.

Advocate for policies and healthcare reforms that prioritize the integration of oral health into the comprehensive care of cancer patients, facilitating collaboration between oncologists and dental professionals.

By addressing this issue, we can provide essential support to cancer patients, improving their quality of life and treatment outcomes.

Thank you for your time and consideration. I look forward to your response and your commitment to advancing this vital healthcare initiative.

student 6 y name , and I am writing to you because I am advocating for those who are wanting to partake in death with dignity when faced with a terminal disease. As of February 2023, the legislature in Massachusetts introduced the End-of-Life Options Act, which allows the residents to access medical aid in dying. I saw there was a public hearing on October 20^th, 2023, in the Joint Committee on Public Health. I just want to express my concerns to help encourage you that the death by dignity should be a law in the state of Massachusetts so those struggle with a diagnosis that is terminal or significantly lowers their quality of life.

As we know this is a controversial debate on how medical events should be treated, however, many countries are legalizing death with dignity. The countries are as followed, Switzerland, Belgium, Netherlands, Spain, Canada, and eight US states (Montagna et al., 2022). In recent a study, which included 44 patients, 16% wish for death and 2% were suicidal when given a terminal diagnosis (Maytal and Stern, 2006). In 2020, 1.6 million new cancer diagnoses were reported, and 602,347 individuals had died of cancer. To put that in perspective, for every 100,000 people, 403 new cancer diagnoses were reported and 144 people died of cancer (Center for Disease Control and Prevention, 2019). Since cancer can take many forms in the body, it can be a hard adjustment for those who have to live with the unexpected consequences of intensive treatments and death. For those who choose treatment, there never is a full guarantee their terminal sentence will be reversed. Within a year after a diagnosis was given, the rate of suicide was 21.9 per 100,000 low-survival rates for cancer patients (Nafilyan et al., 2023). So, I must ask you to put yourself in their shoes, I know this is difficult, but would you want to live out your best moments when you can have the option and would prefer to die with dignity. It seems fair to me that those individuals can pick their death rather than waiting for it, if they wish it. They have the power with the death with dignity law, choosing when, where, how and who. We must stand by those who are struggling and try to fulfill their wishes.

I understand this is a difficult topic for some, but I am asking you to consider how the terminally ill feel when they are given a timeline for them to live, whether it is 3 months or 12 months, it is not a fair way to live with no options other than to wait for the inevitable. With the many people that face these hard decisions to either fight for months on end or to practice the death with dignity. With the number of patients that are diagnosed with terminal diseases, especially cancer, we must come together to help them live their life’s as they wish and to end their life in their own hands peacefully.

Thank you for your time,

student 7 and student 8 I will send it once I received 1-6